Roger Sims
Monday night was the night of the banquet and at said banquet a number of interesting things occured at the table I sat at. Among those at the table with me were Es and Les Cole, Messrs Lee Jacobs and Lee Hoffman, Ed Kuss, Agnus Harok, Ken BeAle, Frank Dietz, and Ted Ditky.
When the soup arrived (a gelatine mass of brown nothing) I said out of the corner of my mouth to Lee Hoffman, "What the hell spoon are you supposed to use on this mess?" I was the immediate receiver of a cascade of unintelligible helpful hints as to what I could do with it. Frank Dietz made the sterling comment that I should heat it and drink the CENSORED. This sounded very good to me so I set about trying to find a possible way of heating the soup. The coffee cup looked like the most likely place to start a fire. I took the cup and placed it on my plate and put the soup bowl on top. Ted Ditky made his bid for fame by pointing out that since no air could get into the cup a fork would have to be placed between the cup and bowl. Meanwhile the other fans were tearing the rappings off their crackers and stuffing them into my cup. Les Cole decided to make himself a party to this affair by handing a folder of matches to me. But fortunately for Harry Moore's sanity, at this point I decided that I had coped with the situation long enough and completely avoided the whole mess.
During the later part of this incident, Lee Hoffman had been staring at his salad hypnotically. Ed Kuss, who was on the other side of her, asked him what was the matter. She replied in a small but incredible voice, "There's a fly drowning in my salad." Sure enough there was a predatory ((!)) creature drowning himself in the muck and mire (hy muck, hy mire) of the salad dressing. For some reason or other Lee would not share the salad with the fly. Not only wouldn't she share it, she wouldn't even eat any of it herself. I for myself cannot see why, for how much can a fly eat?
((After several attempts at rescue operations we gave him up for lost, and passed the salad around the table for all present to speak a few words over the remains.))
Somehow or other the conversation got from the lowly fly to the digestive system of man. I maintained that it takes approximately two hours for all the food one eats to reach the stomach so therefore one does not fill the stomach when he is eating. Several people disagreed and a stimulating argument was underway when some of the more squeemish fen decided that this was not fit conversation for the dinner table and told me so. I felt if they wanted to be that way about it, I would avoid them, so I did so for the rest of the evening.
---Roger Sims
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Do you know about the International Science Fiction Correspondence Club? It's an informal club with the sole purpose of pleasure for the members. And that it provides in great measure thru its many services such as the Collector's Corner and the Trading Corner in the O-O not to mention many valuable indices of prozines. And there are no dues! By merely subscribing to the O-O, EXPLORER, you become a member intitled to all of the priviledges of the club. To join, send 50¢ for a year sub to either Ed Noble - Box 49 - Girard, Pa. or Lawrence Kiehlbauch - 1516 N. Tenth St. - Billings, Montana. We'd suggest you send it to Larry as Ed is newly involved in the intricacies of wedded bliss ...
-advt.
Data entry by Judy Bemis
Updated June 17, 2001. If you have a comment about these web pages please send a note to the Fanac Webmaster. Thank you.