Sam Moskowitz
127 Shephard Ave.
Newark 8, N.J.

Dear Lee:-

Slightly staggered by the tremendous size of your first anniversary issue of Quandry ((grrr)). The flames of enthusiasm must be burning high in your case, for in the history of science fiction, publications of 100 pages or more have been few and far between and somewhat exulted. Certainly no one has produced a 100 page fan magazine in a single month! ((Us included))

Although I grow increasingly lethargic in recent times, the fuss about polls prompts me to raise a little finger of enlightenment.

Unlike Bob Tucker who subscribed to Time Traveler and did not keep them, I did not subscribe to The Time Traveller and I kept them, therefore I am in a position to give a little information on the closest approximation they had to science fiction fan polls. In Vol. I No. 8, Sept, 1932 issue of The Time Traveler ("Science Fiction's Only Fan Magazine"), editor Allen Glasser in an editorial announced that on the last page of that issue the readers would find a coupon for listing the best science fiction stories of 1932. There were three categories: 1) Serial 2) Novelette 3) Short Story. This was to become a monthly feature of the magazine thereafter. Unfortunately, The Time Traveller, now sub-titled ("Science Fiction's First Fan Magazine"), lasted but one more issue before it combined with Science Fiction Digest. In this last issue dated Winter, 1933, the stories chosen by the readers as the "Best Science Fiction of 1932" were: Serial: When Worlds Collide by Edwin Balmer and Philip Wylie; Novelette: A Conquest of Two Worlds by Edmund Hamilton; Short Story: A Scientist Rises by D.W. Hall. No information on the number of votes cast was given.

The Time Traveler, The Science Fiction Digest and The Fantasy Fan all carried short feature squibs by their readers titled: "My Favorite Science Fiction Story."

The Jules Verne Prize Club organized by Raymond A. Palmer was quite possibly inspired by The Time Traveler. Virtually on the heels of the appearance of the last number of TTT Palmer announced the set-up of a club to award prizes for the three best science fiction stories of the year, the winners to receive cups from the group in recognition of their achievement. Palmer intimated that prize-winning stories for 1933 had been chosen, but folded up the club due to lack of funds early in 1934. The winners, if actually voted on, were never made public.

The detailed expositions of Walter Willis remind me (sigh) of my own carefully detailed write-ups of every bottle of soda-pop consumed at a fan meeting, with every gurgle and slop fervently recorded for posterity. In a sense it really is the only way to get the true flavor of a fan meeting, because of this I read Willis's account with pleasure.

Very Truly yours,
[Sam Moskowitz]

P.S. I am really pleased over the magnificent upsurge of fan activity in the south. Nothing comparable to it has come from that region in the past.

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Bob Tucker
P.O. Box 260
Bloomington, Ill.

Wow!

Who did saw Courtney's boat?

Best,

[Bob]

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Sez
Manly Banister
1905 Spruce Avenue
Kansas City 1, Mo.

Dear Lee:

Received and partially perused Annish of Quandry. This is terrific. This is wonderful. This is the reason I stopped publishing. Why should I have short fingernails and a frustration complex from bucking such competition as this?

I shan't comment on everything -- I haven't read everything yet. But what I have read is commendable. Especially that Repeating Harp, Walter Willis. Walter, as you probably know, is the King-pin of Fandom in Ireland. This is an entirely just position for Walter to occupy, being the pin-headed descendant of a long line of Irish Kings. Briar Boru was that first King's name- Briar Boru who invented the smoking pipe. This is attested to on every pipe you purchase. It says "Genuine Briar."

About Walter now, Walter has a wonderful flair for words (flair: from the French flairer, to smell). He is a great columnist. He does, however, have a miserable predilection toward lapsing into Gaelic at the most uncommon points in his narrative. I think it's Gaelic. I have culled some of these expressions from the reading matter, and a few of them are: habe, IL, ans, temmis, yhos, and many others. ((Many others sounds like English to me))

I, too, have a singular predilection toward grappling with culture in all its forms -- blond forms, brunette forms, res-headed forms, and things like that. Anyway, I was fascinated by the facile Willis mind and pen. I desired to know the meaning of these Gaelic words, so I went down town and bought a Gaelic-Patagonian dictionary. Why not a Gaelic-English dictionary? I already have a Patagonian-English dictionary which I have never had occasion to use. It will now prove highly useful as a medium between me and the Gaelic-Patagonian dictionary.

However I could not find these Willis expressions in the Gaelic part of the dictionary. I couldn't even find them in the Patagonian half. Could these be Hoffmanisms, I ask myself? And, as I always demand answers to my questions, I return "Probably". If so, please translate them into Patagonian for me -- I will use that Patagonian-English dictionary! ((Such Hoffmanisms are merely translations of Willisisms such as 'wrer, heesh, futire, and poctsarcd!))

Now, I am certain the have my doubts about this Willis chap. I am sure he is not even Irish. There isn't a trace of brogue in all that stuff he writes! I protest against this with every drop of Irish blood in me own veins. As I an one-eighth Irish one drop of blood out of every eight is making this uncommonly loud noise -- I can hear them slushing through my veins even now, muttering "Begorra, begorra, begorra." There is no doubt at all that one-eighth of my blood is Irish blood. It won't associate with any of my other corpuscles, and I can show it to you any time you desire to open a vein and look. It is emerald green. And it circulates only in my left arm. I keep reaching on that side for shamrocks, Irish whisky, blondes and wheelbarrow handles. It is so full of blarney, you can't believe a word it says -- I am writing this with my left hand.

Nonetheless, Walter is a great editor (next to Lee Hoffman, of course) and SLANT is the greatest magazine in the world (in line after Quandry, to be sure. NOTE TO WALTER. Sorry old man, but I've got to get this published, you know. NOTE TO LEE HOFFMAN: Stop reading my mail!) I have a high estimation of SLANT and have come to this esteem through research of the magazine's editorial content, judicious study of the situation, and recognition of the fact that Walter has lately taken to publishing some of my stuff. The last point, however, is redundant to the overall conclusion. No truly GREAT magazine would fail to publish my ju- literary effesions. (Are you listenin'. Lee?)

I suppose Walter has fooled you all into thinking you know why he calls SLANT SLANT. Of course, that is not it. You see, Walter slants -- 40 degrees from the perpindicular. At first, there were only two of them -- Walter and James White. James slants at 38½ degrees, but, since Walter slants to the right and James slants to the left, the discrepancy is not sufficient to occasion architectural stress while they hold each other up.

The true fact of the matter is that, although the two managed to maintain equilibrium in a passive state, each supporting the other, positive locomotion was somewhat of a difficult feat, characterized by frequent dispersions upon their separate anterior physiognomial areas - falling flat on their faces, as the vernacular has it.

What luck, then, when they found Bob Shaw leaning one day against a light standard. Bob Shaw slants backward, of course; angle: 39 degrees. All things being equal, or nearly so as in this case, they now make like a wigwam and progress not only forward but backward with the greatest of ease.

This matter of slants is a very fortunate thing, indeed, as now all three face in the right direction when having their (if you'll pardon the expression) collective picture taken.

Such is the secret of SLANT. I have said it and I am gla-a-ad!

Keep on with this good-looking Quandry.

Cordially,
[M.B.]

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Walter A. Willis
170, Upper Newtownards Rd
BELFAST, Northern Ireland

Dear Lee,

I am sorry to say that this letter of Banister's contains some gross calumnies, or maybe even 145 of them. I put a trunk call through to my solicitor and he tells me I have a suitcase --- I mean a case for a libel suit. In the first place I am not the pinhead descendant of a long line of Irish kings, I am the kingheaded descendant of a long line of Irish pins. Hence the title THE SHARP THAT PUNS. I shall get my libel suit made up out of a pins tripe material. Banister also shows a laughable ignorance of Irish history. The hero of Clontarf was not Briar Baru but Brian Boru whose last name is of course the motto of SLANT. Nor did he invent the first smoking pipe --- the credit for that should probably go to someone in Kansas City, home of such remarkable inventions as the collapsible dyke and the folding fanmag. As for the suggestion that there is no trace of a brogue in my column, it surely can't be expected that EVERY time I open my mouth I should put my foot into it. As a matter of fact it is putting my feet in my mouth so often, with or without brogues, that accounts for the "poor taste" of some of my remarks pointed out by no less an authority than Mr. J.T. ("Let us put ENDPAPERS behind us!") Oliver.

As for the suggestion that the staff of SLANT is not upright, this is a downright falsehood. Banister is lying in his teeth, and I hope he finds it very uncomfortable. I admit we have a leaning toward stf, but apart from that we are just as listless as can be -- you have only to look at us to realise this. And if I did lean in any direction it would not be towards the right. In fact Roger Dard thinks I lean too much to the left. Let's hope he'll think better of me when he gets around to reading something I wrote this decade. And may I here put in a word to Wilkie Conner, who says that I criticised the people of North Carolina. Now I know nothing of North Carolina except what I read in the papers which I know couldn't possibly be true, and I never said a word against its people. All I said was from Wilkie's own account of their behavior in a cinema their understanding of sf seemed to be on a level with Wilkie's understanding of political realities. If Wilkie considers that an insult .....

[Walter]

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J.T. Oliver - 315 27th St - Columbus, Ga.

Dear Lee,

This is what we've been waiting for! Gosh, I thought 70 pages would be big, but 100 was a real shock. I wonder if that's the record? Does anybody know?

The HARP was good. I like his method of using subtle double meanings. Maybe Ireland is an island in the stream of time. If so, he will never die and we'll be stuck with him.

The Kennedy thing was interesting. I wish you'd get him to do some humorous fanfiction for you. (We try ... but ...))

NO ROBBERY was okay. Like nearly all British writers, he uses a lot of words, tho. I wonder why they do that? I like the moral of the story a lot. Modern writers seem to be ashamed of the fact that they are human. They are always writing stories in which the mean old Earthmen persecute the poor old aliens something awful. Personally I don't like to have our Earthly hero go and marry an egg-laying Krishnan or an antennaed Martian, when there is a nice human female around.

Auerbach's thing was right funny.

THE HARP IN ENGLAND was perhaps the best single item in the issue. I like the way he reports on things but I wonder how much he had to dramatise the thing.

The OKSNS flash was a bit of a shocker, until I noticed that it was a hoax. God, but I was scared for a minute! I'll have to shoot Mr.Tucker if he keeps that up.

... If Auerbach had been facing the front I think he would have closely resembled Bill Entrekin.

Sincerely,
jay

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Pike Pickens - 5969 Lanto St. - Bell Gardens, Calif

Hello Lee!

((Cut three pages of OUTLANDER propaganda))

I have neither the time nor the paper to comment on the entire QUANNISH so I'll list the items I liked best:

Chaos, of chaos. Your "editorials" are always more amusing than the average fanmag editorial. That's what helps to give your mag its personality. A fanmag without personality is like a fanmag without personality and everyone knows how bad that is!

The Harp That Once Or Twice. The fact that Willis wrote so many pages for this ish makes up for the absence of File #13. If Boggs had appeared ... double Wow!

(Geez, I'm a sweet guy.)

Them Wide Open Spaces. Very Funny. However the consistent appearance of "South Gate in '58" in The Outlander is not primarily due to the fact that we run into them wide open spaces. If there wasn't room for the '58 ad we'd make room by diligent use of correction fluid or by cutting a new stencil for the express purpose of plugging the South Gate Convention. And thank you, kind sir, for publishing the Sacred Cry at the bottom of Kennedy's article.

OK Smith ads by Tucker. Shades of merrie olde Le Zombie! Chucklesome nostalgia.

Sez You. All of the letters were interesting and a couple were real entertaining. In re the Number One fan question, I must disagree with both Willis and Jay T. Oliver. Ackerman is without doubt one of the all time greats in fandom. So is Tucker. I would place Forry a notch above Bob (just a wee notch, Pong) because I think he has taken fandom more seriously than Tucker, perhaps too seriously at times. Forry always likes to be with fans. Any time anywhere. If he's there and some fans are there, he's happy. Tucker likes to be with fans too but he also has a penchant for poker and likker and no doubt drinks and plays cards with non-fans as well as fans. He is not as mentally, physically and financially tied up with science fiction and fandom as Ackerman is. For years the polls rated Forry as Number One and Bob as Number Two (or as he and Forry agreed at the Pacificon in '46, Number 1 1/2) and for that period of fan history the rating was fair enough. But neither Forry nor Bob spend as much time in actifandom as they used to. There are other fans today who spend more time in fanning than these two fabulous people and who, in their own way do as much for fandom as did the VOMan and Hoy Ping Pong. The last poll report I remember reading was the 1950 NFFF poll results and offhand I can't remember who was rated Number One. ((Roy Lavender)) It was probably Redd Boggs or Rapp or someone of equal calibre.

But in my opinion there is at this time only one great Number One active fan. I refer of course to that gentleman of any old school, that peerless reformer of outdated spelling, the Keeper of the Outlander Monies, the Creator of the Sacred Cry (South Gate in '58!), the fabulous Sage of South Gate, Rick Sneary! Sneary, with his fine mind and ready wit, his sincerity and honesty, is one of those fans who have helped to make fandom a worthwhile hobby. As long as there are people like Rick in fandom, fandom need never be ashamed of it's existance. (For more about this fabulous OUTLANDER see page 17))

Robert Bloch has blown his top. Backwards or forwards (or sideways) Foo ((ugh)) and Ghu ((!)) cannot be united! Does one eat chocolate cake with catsup on it? If you do and enjoy it then go off and be a fooghuist in your own little corner. You may as well worship Roscoe. Or Alpaugh. Foo fans are happy fans. Ghu isn't really helping Hoffman put out a fine mag you know. The fans who read Q are probably -- for the most part -- Foofooists. Hoffman is laboring under a misapprehension. Foo sees that Lee has the ability to pub a good mag so Foo helps Lee to do it. Lee, being a latter day Barbarian with little learning in the lore of fandom, thinks it is Ghu. But was the QUANNISH pub'd in purple? NO. Foo saw to that. And if Q is ever pubbed in purple -- thus causing much eyestrain to its readers -- it will become an unpopular mag for though its contents be as good as ever, few fans -- especially FooFooists -- will bother to try to read it. Then perhaps Lee will become a true Ghuist and he will no longer be voted top editor. For the FooFooists have the Poo and it is mitier than the yobber!

Your friend and mine,
[Len]

Editor's note: Perhaps you readers who know The Truth wonder why we print these insidious blasphemies in Q. Well, first we are kind, loveable and tolerant. Second we realize that a youngfan cannot come to the Ultimate Truth Of Ghu unless he has the opportunity to learn of these things and to be tried with temptations. Truly, tho the heart be as black as the cursed foofoo himself, the soul will know and embrace the Truth that is Ghughu. Rip out your soul, Pike, and curse your body and mind to the eternal hells of the foofooist, Pike, but your beautiful purple soul will know The Truth and find its way to Ghu. There is only one ghod as ghreat as Ghu and He is Harvey!!

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Rich Elsberry - 413 East 18th St - Minneapolis 4, Minn.

Dear Lee ----

Well the Q annissue was something tremendous. Then too, it was disappointing. Lets look at the tremendous side first. 99 pages -- great. Besides they were beautifully mimeoed. Only a couple of ink blots in my copy and about two pages backwards. You must have sweated blood putting it out.

Somehow tho, for an Annissue I expected something good in the way of material. Oh yes, Q8's material was good -- that's just it. The material was good but not outstanding. No "File #13" and no really good articles. ((and no Elsberry.))

The 16½ pages of Willis were excellent. Fanfiles were all good. The Shakesbeerian Fan Writer. That is if you pay Proxyboo, Ltd. more than Boggs does. I have inside info that Redd has to pay Walt $.03 per month for this somewhat dubious honor. Ollie King Smith brings back memories of Le Zombie. Why in hell doesn't Tucker scrap SFNL and start a Zombie!! Somebody wake up a ghoul!

"... You know what this swamp needs?"
"Windows?"
"Hah!"
"Screens on the windows?"
Sez Elsberry

The Cryptographer's Corner was very good. Let's have more. It was giving me trouble until I figured out that .R was by. Then it was easy. You did make a couple of errors in typing it out --- The title, of course, is "Time and Again" by Simak.

Yhos,
[Rich]

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Es and Les Cole - 614 Norvell St. - El Cerrito 8, Calif.

Dear Lee,

Some hot scoop for you:

1) We are goint to be three (confirmed, but probably not 4 due to history of non-twinning -- except, of course, in orthoclase which can be twinned along 100, 010, 001, etc.)

2) We -- I -- Les was recently elected Chairman of the Little Men with Ed ex-officio Jackette-of-all-trades secretary to the officers en toto, and this will result in a serious curtailment of apa activity.

3) Violent objection to your quote of Tucker saying, "I like science-fiction, not science-fiction." This shows editorial partisanship. We insist that you also run Moskowitz's statement, "I LIKE SCIENCE-FICTION, NOT SCIENCE-FICTION." And Les' "I prefer science-fiction, not science-fiction nor science-fiction."

[L & E]

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Bob Tucker

P.O. Box 260

Bloomington, Ill.

Cheeerio:

Q - 14 arrived, read, and highly appreciated. Fully realizing how observing you are, I shall conduct myself more .... more .... more something hereafter.

Over the falls in '52
[Bob]

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Lyell Crane; BM/LRFC; London W.C.1; England

Lee:

Having just finished reading the article "The Harp In England" by Walt Willis in "Q" No 13, I feel compelled to mention that he omitted to include the remark, spontaneously made by many present to the effect that:- "... all the European fans no matter where they came from seemed to have an excellent command of the English language and the only fans you couldn't understand came from Northern Ireland etc. ..."

Now to another subject:- The mention in "Lippert Laughs Last ..." of scientific errors in DESTINATION MOON stimulates me to mention another which grated on me at the time. When the man with the oxygen bottle jetted himself off into space with the rarest of abandon; to my way of thinking he held the jet a good deal too high up his chest. I'm sure the physics student will agree with me that opening the valve in the position depicted in the movie would cause a spinning movement to be imparted to the individual, and it would require considerable skill and many small spurts in different positions to progress in a straight line to any other object.

Cheers,
[Lyell]

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Vince Clarke - 84, Drayton Pk. - Highbury - London, H. 5 England

Dear Lee,

Yesterday a large Post Office truck drew up before our humble home, and a derrick swung a parcel inside onto the specially strengthened spot where Walt Willis's letters are handled. With due precaution we opened the envelope ... then I only averted an ugly scene by knocking Ken Bulmer unconscious and grabbing the QUANNISH for myself.

100 pages! 99 more than King Wenceslas! Has someone gone nuts? If not, why not? When I think of the sheer amount of energy that must have gone into it, the energy that could have been better devoted to ... to ... to ... on second thought it might not have been wise to divert that amount of energy. We don't want any splits in the space time continuum this year, thanks.

I lowered myself cautiously over the edge of pages 1-3 and wandered into a maze of short paragrafs in 4&5, stumbled across the surprising item concerning PROXYBOO and the alleged Lee Hoffman. I can hardly believe it. I am having my doubts about WAW tho. I can't remember ever having seen him eat whilst in London, and you know what that means. I'm just wondering whether he's one of Williamson's or one of Asimov's.

Luckily, no one is liable to take WAW seriously (except perhaps a few natives of North Carolina), for as a reporter he's a wee bit morbid. One can imagine him as the Eternal Discoverer of Bodies. Not only in "La Vie Parisienne" either. His technique is to stab one between the ribs with a poisoned shaft of wit, then lower the collapsed ego on to a flowery compliment.

It's probably that he has been enthusiastically voted for by Campbell, the Smiths, Wendayne, Lyell Crane and Carnell as The Body We'd Most Like To See On A Bier, so make the most of him. His next ASF will probably be radio-active.

"How to write a S-F Story" ... curse Craig ... that's the article I've been wanting to write for years. Good.

Dear Lee,

(Exuent) William Shakespeare.

News Flashes. Never, never, do anything like that again. I read through to Gold's remark with the sound of falling heavens in my ear. Picking my eyeballs off the floor (they were undamaged except for a small 8 imprinted on each one), I managed a feeble smile, but if WAW is morbid, Tucker is gruesome ...

The Bradley story merely leaves me with a strong desire to know how you or Shaw ((us)) managed to get such thick lines in his illustration.

Lil peepul much appreciated.

Calkins painful and true.

Letter, esp. Tuckers, worth reading. Bloch's really trying to get back to 5th fandom or before ... Incidently, I'd like to advocate WAW as saving space. Counting through the QUANNISH I find his full name 19 times, surname or Christian 33 times. It's practically an egobook.

So summing up, tho varying wildly in quality, the QUANNISH is an astounding effort, deserving to rank in history with those other uses of wood, pulped and otherwise ... I refer to Lincoln's teeth, the Mayflower, Red Riding Hood's adventures, the Declaration of Independence and the handle of Washington's axe.

[Vincent]

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Gerry de la Ree - 277 Howland Ave. - River Edge, N.J.

Dear Lee:

When the first ish of Q popped into my mailbox some 12 months ago, I never dreamed you'd be able to improve so in one year.

Sincerely,
[Gerry]

Data entry by Judy Bemis

Updated June 17, 2001. If you have a comment about these web pages please send a note to the Fanac Webmaster. Thank you.