THE OTHER FANDOM. In this town of 400,000 odd inhabitants there are apparently only three who are odd enough to admit to an interest in s-f. Yet every month great heaps of s-f magazines come into the shops, and vanish instantaneously, like cream . No one ever sees who buys them. The few times I have surprised persons in the act they seemed to flee in terror at my approach as if I had three heads instead of only two. My spies tell me that this state of affairs exists all over Sol III. WHO ARE THES E MYSTERIOUS PEOPLE? Shocking though it may be to our self-esteem, there is only one answer. Behind fandom as we know it, using it as a screen, lurks the OTHER FANDOM. To this vast organization of super intellects we are but morons, fit only to be used as unwilling catspaws in their machinations. It is through us that they press their views on editors and publishers, most of whom have learned by bitter experience the peril of ignoring them. How else explain the powerful influence of the apparently impoten t minority of actifans? These mysterious intelligences, whom I refer to as the TENDRILLESS FANS, have their own secret conventions and fanzines, and for all I know, prozines too. Their number constantly increases. You have wondered why it is that actifans often retire at the very peak of their powers, why fanzines no sooner get really good than they fold? Obviously, they have been ACCEPTED!
CELTIC LAMENT. As you'll have gathered, the fan population of Ireland can almost be counted on your thumbs. The other day our hopes were raised by a notice in the Belfast Newsletter about a SLANS SPORTS MEETING but it turned out to be just a nor mal race meeting at an obscure village in the County Down. Disappointing. So was the MONSTER MEETING advertised here recently. I hear that very few monsters took the trouble to turn up: they must be very poor sports!
DUE CREDIT. Although we seldom get any acknowledgement from the people we praise in SLANT (Anthony Boucher, J. W. Campbell, Professor Einstein, Doris Day) while those we criticise show a startling sensitivity, we still feel that fanzines general ly are too misanthropic. Hence these few belated bouquets: TO NIGEL LINDSAY for running the chain mag scheme with quiet efficiency before and since the BFL got into the soup. He stuck to his post through thick and clear. TO FORRY ACKERMAN for helping fan authors to become pros. TO KEN BULMER & VINCE CLARKE for preventing London from being the dead centre of British fandom. Their SFN is always worth waiting for. TO D. R. FRASER for making such a beautiful job of EUSIFANSO. TO MIKE TEALBY for fine work with WONDER. with WONDER.
ABSOLUTELY NO DECEPTION, by Chuck Harris.
As a special treat Mr. Davidson had taken his wife and children to Coney Island for the day. The kids, replete with candy-fluff, ice cream, peanuts, and hamburgers were standing on the boardwalk, gazing in awe at an enormously fat man spieling the crow d towards his concession.
'Gather round! Roll up!' he cried. 'See M'Gombi, the albino wizard from mysterious Africa! Thrill to the magic of the one and only M'Gombi!'
Succumbing to the excited urgings of his children Davidson bought tickets, and herded his little flock inside to the front row of benches. When the tent was filled the lights were dimmed; the spectators hushed as the curtains swished open.
In the middle of the stage stood the great M'Gombi, awe-inspiring in multi-coloured robes and feathered head-dress. After demonstrating prestidigitation, conjuring, and fire-eating he worked up to the climax of his act. He strode to the centre of the s tage and addressed his audience:
'Ladies and gentlemen, for this, my final miracle, I shall saw a lady in half. Being a widower myself, I shall require the assistance of a lady from the audience.'
Before he had finished speaking, Mrs. Davidson, who had always wanted to 'go on the stage' slipped from her seat and was standing by his side.
'Thank you madam,' bowed M'Gombi. 'But are you sure your family will not object?' He looked inquisitively at her husband and children.
'Not at all,' laughed Davidson. The children giggled. The audience cheered and applauded while Mrs. Davidson dimpled prettily and blushed.
M'Gombi pulled from the wings a long box faintly reminiscent of a coffin. He helped Mrs. Davidson into the box, which was so arranged that her feet stuck out from one end, and her head from the other. After closing the lid, he sawed her in half.
Mr.Davidson didn't mind, because he had her insured, but the children were unhappy for a long time, and the police made an awful fuss about it.
[Reprinted from the ISFCC's EXPLORER by kind permission of Ed Noble, Girard, Pa., editor of that lively and enterprising fanzine.]
AMENDE HONORABLE. In S3 I made some impetuous remarks about Mr. Merwin's review of our second issue, and though I took it all back in the next breath, next page, and my impulsive way, I must mention that I went badly off the rails in taking exce ption to his calling our illos 'pseudo-woodcuts.' I thought he meant pseudo in the sense of 'phoney,' but I now know this is a recognised technical term in the printing trade. Sorry.
THE VERY WORLD ITSELF MAY BE
ONLY A SUDDEN FLAMING WORD
MID CLANGING SPACE A MOMENT HEARD
[Yeats]
OFF THE CUFF. Palms to Palmer for printing WAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY. And HOORAY Bradbury! ... Our votes for nicest story of the year go to DEAR DEVIL in OW (Russell never lets you down): most remarkable, SCANNERS LIVE IN VAIN, FANTASY BOOK b y some genius called Cordwainer Smith ... If there IS a convention in South Gate in '58 it will be the first with rhyme for a reason ... A correspondent, after reading Dianetics, suggests that when you beat your wife you should never say 'Take that!' or t he child will be a kleptomaniac. So say 'You can't take it!' and he will be a model citizen ... American opinion is ranking NEW WORLDS up with ASF: and quite right too ... I see Merwin admits his artwork is unmentionable ... AMAZING & FA have improved right enough; about time someone helped Phillips carry the load ..
The article on p.25 is the first in a series of
illustrated biographies of British and American fans.
There would have been more in this issue if we
had been able to have the photoengravings made
in time, but each future issue of SLANT will con-
tain from two to four of them. Any nominations?
. We know de Camp couldn't write a really bad story if he tried, but must he try so hard? ... We asked Campbell to fold our ASF's with the cover outwards so it wouldn't get creased and he actually does it (usually). Is this just for us or has everybody benefitted? ... Little men make great fanzines. Sub to the RHODOMAGNETIC DIGEST and see ... What other fanzine had an illustration like a prozine's? ASF for June, 1942 in fact, p. 24. Stephen Leacock worked in this issue without knowing it, as well as Sc hnecman. Tch Tch.
SLANT TELLS ALL! Some time ago we began secretly to circularize new fans, getting their names from the prozine letter columns. 'You too can be a BNF!' we said. 'You want egoboo? We can supply it. For modest fees we will do your fanning for you. We undertake all the duties of an actifan, letters in your name to prozines, fanzines and fellowfans, and publication on your behalf of any type of fanzine. Why work your brain to the bone when you can make use of our specialised services? Write at onc e to PROXYBOO Ltd ...'
The project was an immediate success, and the time has come for us to make a startling disclosure. WE ARE FANDOM! Daily for some ten years fleets of vans have brought us sacks of letters to be answered on our battery of typewriters, and taken away gr eat stacks of Fanscients, Gorgons, Operation Fantast, Slants, Spearheads etc. etc. for distribution by our customers, with countless letters, articles, columns, stories, poems, artwork, editorials, etc. carrying the names of Ackerman, Boggs, Laney, Grossm an, Sneary, Riddle and dozens of others, each of whom thinks he is our only client.
But all this must stop. After today we regret to announce that there will be no more fandom, except for some poor wretches who were unable to keep up with their payments. We are sorry not to be able to finish up our various 'controversies,' like Lane y-Mechette and Banister-Boggs (especially when the bidding was getting so high) but pressure of work has forced us to close the fandom department. Our prozine commitments are getting far too heavy.
QUAINT AUSTRALIAN CUSTOMS.
They don't care for THRILLING WONDER
Down under
And when they see a PLANET
They ban it.
PHYSICIAN, HEAL THYSELF! Judging him by his works, I wouldn't have thought Hubbard fit to treat anyone's mind. Sympathy, kindness and understanding are some of the qualities needed, and there was no sign that Hubbard had them. Quite the rever se. His stories, disregarding the juveniles of 'Rene Lafayette,' showed such an unhealthy worship of sadistic power and preoccupation with violence and cruelty as to make me feel that if he was 'clear' I'd rather stay opaque. That brutish callousness is an heroic quality and the mass murder of people with different pigmentation is an heroic action are ideas only too easily acquired without Hubbard's help. Reader Robb in 'Brass Tacks' said of dianetics: "None but the meanest, most callous, and le ast worthy of men could offer such a blessing to mankind without assuring himself of its validity.' It could also have been such a man who wrote GREED.
But if Hubbard is so far no advertisement for dianetics, Campbell is, and if only out of respect to him we must take it as more than just another 'mystery.' And first impressions of the book are that although it is emotionally and unscientifically ove r-written, Hubbard is, to give him his due, absolutely sincere. You should read it for yourself, and decide.
OFF THE OTHER CUFF. No, Wilkie Conner, Britain is NOT workshy or bankrupt, whatever your papers say. She's producing and exporting more than EVER before and only short of dollars because of six years of war .. RECENT ARRIVALS: 'Egoboo', Banis ter's astounding counterblast to Boggs, a satirical fantasy well worth reading in its own right. Second issue of Roy Loan's adult fanzine, 'Talisman.' Morton Paley's 'Beezlebub', new fanzine by one of fandom's best authors.
Data entry by Judy Bemis
Updated June 23, 2001. If you have a comment about these web pages please send a note to the Fanac Webmaster. Thank you.