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In my third lecture, now that I have covered the basic groundwork of Fansmanship, I am going to present a detailed account of the famous clash between Fansmen N. Hall and P. Jordan. In order to help the student follow the more subtle ploys and counterp loys I will insert notes of explanation where necessary-although, if you have been practicing your ploys diligently, this should not-ahem!-be very often.
This battle, which most Fansmen regard as being one of the most brilliant ever, opened with a letter from Jordan to Hall as follows:
Dear Norman:
I am sending you a copy of my zine Star Ship. I don't expect a fan of your stature to subscribe, of course. but if you would consider sending me an article sometime I would consider myself more than repaid...
N. Hall, who was at this time working hard for his Gray Fansman Badge, decided to employ a gambit. Since he had never heard of Jordan having entered the Legion of Fansmen, he thought it was safe enough and actually subscribed to Star Ship. (I hope it has been obvious to even Fansmen novices that Jordan was hoping to bring off a ploy in Zinesmanship by putting Hall under an obligation by presenting him with free copies. This meant that Hall was almost bound to contribute material. )
Jordan, receiving the subscription, was so taken aback by the ruthless parrying of his ploy that he foolishly sent Hall a plain, unguarded request for material.
Dear Norman,
Thank you so much for the PO. Star Ship is very hard up for good material at the moment-I wonder if you would care to send me something...?
At first Hall was tempted to cut Jordan to ribbons, but then he suspected that if he did so Jordan might publish both the letters and work the Poor-Struggling-Faned-And-Big-Bad-BNF ploy on him. (It later turned out that this supposition was unfounded.) He decided to employ a camouflage of humor! This was the letter that rocked the already shaken Jordan to his foundations:-
Dear Peter,
I agree-you are hard up for good material at the moment. In response to your request I am enclosing a sample of the pattern for my new sports coat. This is very good material...
Shattered and bewildered by these crushing blows, Jordan realized that his only hope lay in Fansmanship. He availed himself of a copy of W. Willis's masterly treatise "Everyman A Fansman" and began to study furiously. He was at first appalled to see the stupidity of his mistakes so clearly shown up, but with astonishing perception he soon decided that the only reply open to him was that known as 'The Prolificsman Ploy.' (I myself prefer to call this The Profusemen Ploy.) Accordingly, inside t he next week Hall received three letters and two postcards full of friendliness and fannish good cheer. It must go on record that Hall later admitted quite freely that he was shaken. As he pointed out, Jordan was at a great advantage on this tack on accou nt of the fact that he had freely entered the Legion of Fansmen while Hall, who was an old member, was naturally quite incapable of such philanthropic behavior.
As the days went by and the flood of effusive good nature from Jordan poured through his letterbox Hall racked his brain desperately. He knew full well that such a weapon as this terrible amiability in the hands of an experienced Fansman would have dem olished him entirely, but he relied on Jordan's naiveté: he sent the following...
Dear Peter,
Thank you for all the letters etc.-it must give you great pleasure to get writing to a fan of my stature. I have all your stuff stored in the attic and some day soon I am going to try and get reading some of it...
Another year in the Legion of Fansmen and Jordan would have known that he had Hall worried, but (as Hall had hoped) he lost his head and sent Hall the following letter in an unstamped envelope.
"Dear Normin,
I hope..."
With a sigh of relief Hall seized on the deliberate misspelling of his name, pointing out that anyone who had ever studied history (ie gone to school) would know how to spell 'Norman' properly. He capped his victory by answering the no-stamp ploy with "...and to help you in your poor financial state I am enclosing several postage stamps and a stack of envelopes for use in your correspondence."
Needless to say, no more was heard from Jordan, and Hall set back secure in the knowledge that yet another name had been added to the list of fans in whom the name N. Hall inspired feelings of fear and dislike.
Data entry and page scans provided by Judy Bemis
Updated September 26, 2003. If you have a comment about these web pages please send a note to the Fanac Webmaster. Thank you.