Of course, the first question that's going to be asked right off the bat, is who am I? And that, I'm afraid, must forever more remain an eternal mystery -- for only one person, besides myself, knows who I am. And since I know that he won't talk, and sometimes I'm not sure myself who I am, I guess that my real identity will remain secret. However I might say to spike any rumors that my may arise, I am not Anthony Gilmore!
In this page each month I'm going to split your sides with laughter, rack your body with sobs, and generally make you feel like committing foo. Have you tonsillitis, fractured eardrums, or ingrown toenails? If you do, read this column --- and you won't feel any better!
Memories that bless and burn: when Ackerman, answering a SFL quiz, replied to a question concerning the most prominent fan in America, or something of that sort, with "remember our modesty" --- and was marked correct! .... Wonder if D'JOURNAL ever will appear ..... or for that matter, if Tucker is really still alive ..... He's giving a pretty good Imitation of Life if he did do as was said by ASTOUNDING ..... Odds are being laid at ten to one that the SPWSSTEM will never be revived ..... and it's twenty to one that the rival society won't ..... I'm too blamed lazy to write out all of its initials, though ..... So now the Black Flame mystery is finally cleared up by one of Dale Hart's articles in a certain fan mag, to the immense relief of all concerned ..... Strange, when fans are so hot on the trail of something like that that a guy who was almost unknown two years ago and who lives way down in the sticks, should finally reveal the answer ..... and if none of the other fans could answer it, how did he find out? ..... It appears that his dope is one hundred percent correct, too ..... now I'll never be satisfied until I read New Adam ..... For that matter, until I read Dawn of Flame, too ..... Never got the Memorial Volume, darn it ..... maybe if anyone has one laying around that he doesn't want he could ship it on to me ..... I'm not too hopeful for that, though, for some reason .....
Hope you're not just reading the dots --- after all, there is something in between them, such as words ..... What a convention it was in Philly ..... An hourly fan mag! ..... And just because I wasn't there I missed out on it all ... Ever see how many numbers that there have been in stf. titles? ..... F'rexample, One Prehistoric Night ..... The Second Deluge ..... Three Go Back .... The Fourth-Dimensional Demonstrator ..... and you can go on and on ..... I would but I just don't feel like it ..... How about sending in your list, fans? .... Just send them in care of the magazine, and I'll get them and print them ..... We should be able to get a complete list up to about twenty, any way ..... Maybe further, too ..... Don't forget, for instance, Rule Eighteen ..... And So forth .....
Wanted: a dictionary that'll interpret Ackermanese ..... for the benefit of those who have to read something in a hurry .... It saves a lot of time to write the blamed stuff, but it surely isn't the easiest thing in the world to read .... A certain amount of it, such as U for you, R for are, and so forth isn't bad, but, but when U come to a paragraf in which U hav 2 go like this, and try 2 translate it with th gratest of ease, it just isn't easy .....
Will MADGE ever be revived? .... I hope so, but fear not .... by the way, I've nearly given myself away by saying that ..... now all you'll have to do is go over the subscription lists of them and find me in it ..... I was there, I'm afraid ..... I see my paper is getting short, so I'd better quit ..... next month watch for a swan song on Thanks for the Memory dedicated to "!" ..... PREVIEW: Thanks for the memory ..... Of wonder who is DAW .... and Michelism ---- faw! And how I'd squeal when you'd reveal the Movies that you saw .... Thank you so much ..... Now that you have finished reading this (I hope) ..... and since you can address everything else to the magazine that's intended for me ..... you can also send any assorted bombs, disintegrators, and heat rays ..... WOW!
Data entry by Judy Bemis
Updated June 23, 2015. If you have a comment about these web pages please send a note to the Fanac Webmaster. Thank you.