///////// CHANTICLUCKS\\\\\\\\


I have just had the inestimable pleasure of reading the second issue of your wonderful publication, Chanticleer. May I offer you my heartiest congratulations? I fear that you have surpassed the greatness of my little effort, Lez, which I'm sure must have come your way. I have such a terrrible time with Lez. My horrid old typewriter just won't function properly. The period doesn't work at all. It's a terrible drudgery to perforate the stencil with my buck tooth just to make periods, but I must admit that they are really pretty periods. The stencils one must work with nowadays are just too, too exasperating and I, for one, am just about fed up with the whole business. However, I've just purchased a new batch from Antoine's Super Mimeo Bazaar, and they look very promising. They are the new burnt-orange-red stencils, which are advertised so prominently in Mother Ashley's Home Journal. I do hope they will do. The next issue of my little effort, Lez, which I'm sure must have come your way, will feature an article by Ramona Wollheim, entitled "Love Among the Slans, or Futurian Wow", and, as your name is mentioned prominently ten or twenty times, I'm sure you will not want to miss it. The general motif of the next issue of my little effort, Lez, which I'm sure must have come your way, will be one of supreme simplicity. In fact, the whole issue will be so simple, it will astound you. The illustrations in the issue are by Countess Dorothy Di Wiedenbeck, and though I shouldn't utter a word, I must admit they are her most devastating creations yet. All in all, the next issue of my little effort, Lez, which I'm sure will come your way, will be utterly fornchy. I trust you will take the foregoing comments on your wonderful publication, Chanticleer, as constructive criticism. Do trip on up when you get the chance. ((Thanks for a charming epistle, Bubbles. Yesterday I dispatched a subtle combination of nitrates and acids, which I'm sure you will get a bang out of, which I'm sure must have come your way.))


A couplet keeps wriggling in my head, to wit: "If the plural of "fan" is "flen"

Then the plural of "man" is "mlen"

What am I going to do about it? I sit brooding over it for hours in the MLEN'S WLASHROOM --- where incidentally, I spent many of the best years of my life reading CHANTICLEER. Much impressed by its Chanticlarity, too --- and the poem, exposing particularly nauseous pieces of bilge masquerading in book form as "horror stories" or "fantasies" is very creditable. Would that someone persued the same policy regard to motion pictures. . .though it is almost a waste of effort, insofar as 90% of all alleged "horror movies" are merely horrid, and the presence of a Columbia or Universal release-mark is almost a sure guarantee of their inanity nowadays. Just about the last real fantasy film I can recall seeing is DR CYCLOPS. . .and it always seems such a pity to me, in view of the fact that there are so many capable actors wading through the tripe now turned out. Illustration for book section is pretty, though I prefer less background and more foreground. . .and I don't think it's good for a young lady's eyesight to look down at printed matter from such a distance. Frankly, if I saw a nude female reading a copy of an s-f magazine in such a manner I would feel it my bounden duty to urge her either to put the magazine up to reasonable distance of her face or else. . .ta hell with the magazine! (Unless, of course, she was reading CHANTICLEER, in which case I don't know what I'd do. . .or what she'd be liable to do, for that matter) (For that printed matter) Anyhow, CHANTICLEER chantickled my fancy immensely, and all thanks for the chance to peruse same. Regards to all the Michigan rummies and. . .remember the robot who wore tin pants! ((Ah, but my good man, flen's not the plural of fan, flen is the plural of flan, combo of fan and slan, if the plural of slan is slen, than more than one flan are flen. Thlank ylou flor a mlost intlerestling eplistle, Rlobert. You is my Flavorite Flunster))


That crack of yours about the actifen not coming through with the necessary $ for the support of Chanticleer touch my heart. I am hereby attempting to restore your faith in fankind by paying you 25¢ for the two issues of Chanticleer which you have sent me for free. I also promise to pay for any further issues reaching these quarters, but the rumble of doom heard in your remarks about 'if I an to continue publishing' suffice to discourage a more robust subscription. Yet 'tis to be hoped that C may linger with us many years. ((Me, too.)) The format & mimeoing, not to mention the artwork, give C a professional quality which is certainly unusual and refreshing by contrast to what subscription fanzines used to be when I was active in the subscription field & putting out my own wretched rag. Warneratings: Michiconfusion...8, MYFFSAW...9, My trial yer error...5, What price fanzines...7, Suthin abt burton...8, Fubar...8, Chanticlucks...7, Those gay deceivers...7, Tree shot revs...6, Wt a r abt...7, Bibliops...8, Lost Korus....8. I generally take 7 as an average figure for such ratings as warner system and stuff hasta be better than routine to get 8s or 9s from me. I rated Spaceways for yars and yars & dont think i handed out more than 2 or three 10s. One of the 10s was for Tucker's piece on editors methods in an aniversary number: that was a marvelous satire! ((Oh fi, I meant to delete that last sentence)) I hope U get wt I mean in my translation of yer last choruse into the lost (sea of) Korus. Er don't you read ERB? ((No, but sometimes I ERG)) Thistuff yo publish under the name of Laydschur mite be put under the name of Laydenegg. Need I say more? ((How about this ish?)) I fergetted to rate da covuh. Giffs 8 even do I aint suah wt de ting means. ((Twas jst a spcsheep, radder undah wahta spcsheep, dshing tru de weeds und ge stunken brine))


Got the latest Chanticleer and thought it uproariously good. Why haven't I got a copy of #1? How have I gotten this far without seeing #1. Please send me #1. (I, too, go wild just thinking about #1)) What do you want now, money? ((Is he kiddin)) Oh, well, then, don't send me #1 until I send you the money. Your mag for format, content, and just general putogetherness whatever the hell that means) rates probably the number 2 mag, with only diablerie ahead of it. ((Thanks Chas, Ashley has been notified.))


Say, thanks a million for that sample copy of CHANTICLEER. Jollier than a whole volume of LEZ! Enclosed is a small subscription. ((Splawn of my heart, may I call you luffly? Your next "Jollier than a whole volume of LEZ!" will be forthcoming in a month or so. Tucker has been notified.))


Comment on #2. Technically it's superb; a pleasure to read. Now, all you have to do is get some material worth reading, and you'll have something there. ((How about this ish? It's not all bad, is it?))


The bordures and stuff are even better than before--and I've just noticed that you supply a key on the contents page. I liked best those for Myffsaw, Trial/Error, and Rosenblum. "Fangab consumed the afternoon like a vampire drinking plasma". Gorblimey. Contents are all interesting, but the next thing I have anything to say on is Chanticlucks. Laney's letter was interesting and a little surprising, since I'd supposed he considered himself to be a paragon. His "Those Gay Deceivers" was interesting, but I doubt it would hold up as a regular feature. May I suggest you try starting your book section on an odd-numbered page, so the lithoed insert will really begin it? ((Thank you Juffus. So far you are the only one who has mentioned the border key on the contents page. Have taken your and others advice; the Wiedenbeck gal starts the book section this ish.))


Channy #2 was really wonderful. You must have a beautiful liver. My new remedy "Hustle Bustle Neuronic Tonic" is just the stuff for slims. I suggest you send a bottle to Tucker. Perhaps it will help poor Lez. Love in buckets, darling.

Data entry by Judy Bemis

Updated January 17, 2015. If you have a comment about these web pages please send a note to the Fanac Webmaster. Thank you.