TommyWorld Sixteen - The 'Politics' issue


The Sixteenth issue of a weekly, or thereabouts (job, life, love, etc., permitting), letter substitute from:
798 Manning Ave, Toronto, On. M6G 2W6 Phone:(416) 539 8992
Web Site:
Distribution in the UK by Eugene Doherty, 110 North Parade, Belfast, BT7 EMail: Available only via the net at the moment. Dated, already, 2/6/97.

"Love & Bullets"

It's hard to fall in love these days. There is so much cynicism going on in the world, so much of "what's in it for me?" and "how do I fit into this thing?", "can I get off?" and, "will she sleep with me?" I, me - all personal pronouns. What happened to having fun together, to going out catching a movie and a few drinks, talking , laughing just simply having fun? That is always what love is about for me. I loved Kim McDaid. We were both kids and in one sense it was puppy love, but it was also true and honest love - there was nothing else in my world except her. As the poem goes she was my North, my South my East and my west.

Today I'm older, over ten years older, and have been through other relationships that were equally as intense. I've also had relationships that have been equally as fun and wonderful but not so intense. As the man says I've been around the block a bit but I have never been in love so much as I was then.I have never loved like I did then - unquestioning and total. It is hard to get back to that time in our lives where walking hand in hand was the epitome of life. There was no today, yesterday or tomorrow. There is only now, here and present. I've just been through too much for that, and the women I meet just don't bring me back to where I once was.

I don't if anyone, man or woman, can take me back there. I know, and you can tell from the above, that I would dearly love to be able to commit myself wholeheartedly to another person the way I used to. I think this is the ideal which we all strive for and in the throes of young love and teenage life we are able to achieve this. But is it adult and responsible to want to go back there? I'm thirty in a few weeks, I'm an adult and have a life in the world. I have family and friends, serious relationships that need attention and deserve respect. Is it really responsible of me to want to cut all that off and fall head over heels in love with someone like I used to?

No, it's not responsible. No, it's not adult. But Jesus, I would love to go there again.

Last year I left everything that I had built up in Belfast and Northern Ireland - and that was a lot. But I felt so free. I had the comfort of money to tide me over - but that's gone now these two months and I still feel liberated. I don't have to worry about anything in my life. I do a job I enjoy, I work hard at it and believe I am good. I live in a wonderful apartment with a decent guy to share with. My new friends in Toronto are wonderful as well and there have even been a some great, though short, relationships.

But I miss being in love.

I'm scared that I won't ever fall for anyone again, the way I fell for Nyree, Kim and indeed Margaret. I'm afraid that I will always be Tommy Ferguson, who this week is shagging so and so. The single guy at the party who looks vaguely desperate. Whilst trying to handle that though, I will have a good time and enjoy my life. Which, at the moment, is ridiculously easy to do.

And if it happens again, well you'll all be the first to know. But only through the absence of TW...

The Foxes Den,Thursday 5 June, 7.00pm.East side of Bay Street, Two Blocks South of BloorEveryone is welcome.

This is the monthly Fannish social meeting in Toronto. It happens, at my instigation I'm afraid, on the First Thursday of each month. Why? Well, why the hell not? Every other major city throughout the known world, and Belfast, has its regular fannish meetings. Just for the beer and chat, no major agenda, guests or organising committees - just a bit of craic as we say. So why don't you make a date in your social calendar now and pencil in the

3rd July 1997

as well? I'll be there, and a whole bunch of other wonderful and interesting folk will be there as well. You never know, there may even be a new fanzine from me ready - at least you will have vol. 2 of The Foxes Den newsletter to read...

"TommyWorld - the Con." OR: Tommy Turns Thirty in T.O.

When:Saturday 21 June 1997Where:798 Manning Ave.What:A day spent hanging out, Barbecue, one shot fanzineproduction, videos, music, beer, a couple of panel items, some games - y'know, stuff...How:I'll get the beer, you bring the rest...Who:You, your friends and people you think might enjoy it...Why:Why not?

So I hope you can make it, if you can't and think someone else might like to go, get them to contact me and we can sort things out. Loads of crash space, excellent weather and a guided tour of the pubs of Bloor street on Friday night and lunch at Allen's (the Irish pub I work at) on Sunday for those keen. C'mon, it'll be a gas - you might even have some fun.

Ad Astra 17

Toronto, Ontario,June 13-15, 1997

With Our Author Guests of Honour
Steven Brust & Tim Powers
And Our Editor Guest of Honour: John Clute
For More Info:
And now you...

From: Daniel Farr "Ooops - Think I read things a mite to fast for this quicksilver brain - you said barbie June 21 -- NOT MAY 21 - my mistake - otherwise okay - and how about pub night??? daniel farr - now shut up will you and read the fucking mail before you shoot yourself in the foot again. ((- Nice of you to answer your own questions, but it does make this Loccol sort of redundant... -))

From: Valerie Westwood "Enjoyed seeing you and Vikki again. I did expect that you would have been there, but Vikki was a pleasant surprise. I feel a little bad as on Sunday I excused myself from Vikki to say goodbye to people who were on their way back to Pennsylvania, and then Elessar and Shelley were out front and they were also on their way home. I never got back talking to you or Vikki to say goodbye. ((- Yeah, it was a real pleasure seeing you again as well. see folks, fannish life is not dead in Toronto, come to a party or pub meet and see for yourself... -))

From: Bernie Evans "What a fantastic weekend! Sounded just great. I think you know Dave Holmes, well, he had a whole roast pig at his wedding, wonderful stuff, so much flavour! Shame you had to go to work the day after, but you probably didn't drink as much as you would at a British party, so it was probably easy . ((- Actually that is quite true. Mike's home made beer was wonderful and I was drinking it in half pint measures as well as eating and nibbling the whole weekend so I didn't really get as trashed as I would have a British party. Work was a complete loss the following day though -man was that ever a long day. -))

From: Vicki Rosenzweig "I think you owe Lesley Reece an apology. "Please don't print that" _is_ a DNQ, at least when dealing with humans--only computers should be so literal as to insist that they aren't the same. Vicki (and yes, you may print this). ((- Lesley and I have already talked about this and yes, you are right, I do owe her an apology. For everyone else worried that their DNQs will b printed, don't be.Lesley's teddy bear owning status is, by her own admission, not exceptional DNQ material. But that thing with the Guinea pig... -))

From: Mark McCann "Thought this might interest you: It's a live video link to the Crown Bar - (maybe we could arrange to wave to you from there some day...) I know how you miss Irish Bars It's a live video link to the Crown Bar - (maybe we could arrange to wave to you from there some day...) I know how you miss Irish Bars
why, I suspect you haven't been in one in...ohh... hours? Thanks for TW16. I particularly liked the line _... I invited Vikki the lifeguard from confusion_ which I thought was suitably surreal. Just what we all need at this time of chasis... As for the Esperanto word for small woman rarely seen about these parts... ...umm... to be honest I haven't really had much cause to practice my Esperanto recently.. but it must be something like: malofte vidi malgrandavirinon but don't quote me on that as I had always problems with my tenses (and it's not even one word either come to think of it) that probably reads 'to rarely see a small woman.'

Not sure if you've been following the local elections in Norn Iron. The rise of Sinn Fein's vote continues at the expense of the SDLP. You may have already heard but the unionists have lost control of Belfast City Hall and there is likely t be the first ever Catholic mayor next month. ((- Even if the British political scene remains stagnant after the last election - doubtful - the changes in Northern Ireland are starting to have repercussions. A Catholic Mayor in Belfast is almost unthinkable but would be a wonderful step forward. Hopefully this will spread. -))

From: Lesley Reece "Ali says she's forgotten the exact word, but promises to look it up. I asked her if what Mark guessed was correct:

> By the way, your friend wrote "not often seen not big woman." Close, but
> no cigaro.

I'm so jealous of her because she got to kiss Craig Charles from Red Dwarf, and it was filmed by the BBC! Wish I'd been there, but it might have got ugly with us fighting over him (*meow*) ;) ((- I think it is time I closed this issue of TW before things get really out of hand. Foxes Den on Thursday, The Canadian National Brewers Association Annual Banquet on Saturday, unfortunately I'm working at it, not enjoying it and TW 17 next Monday. Take Care. -))

This is being distributed to a whole bunch of friends on the net, if you received this and would NOT like to be on the mailing list please accept my apologies for this intrusion and let me know so that you will not be bothered by further ramblings. If you know someone who would like to be on the mailing drop me a line.